


try not to love no one

by awkwardwritersyndrome



Series: Korvira Week 2020 [1]
Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Angst, F/F, Korvira Week, Korvira Week Day One, Longing, a very brief mention of the CANON incest relationship that is canon so it's not my fault
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:27:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26808088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awkwardwritersyndrome/pseuds/awkwardwritersyndrome
Summary: Prompt: longing“How have you been since she left?”The question caught Korra off guard. They rarely talked about relationship stuff, sticking to bending and global affairs most of the time. But she didn’t mind sharing, Kuvira was the only person she had confided in since Asami left. “Honestly, kind of lonely,” Korra said before giving a pitiful laugh. “I actually look forward to coming here every few weeks. You’re my only friend.”Song: Lost One x Jazmine Sullivan
Relationships: Korra & Kuvira (Avatar), Korra/Kuvira (Avatar)
Series: Korvira Week 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1943398
Comments: 10
Kudos: 56





	try not to love no one

With Asami’s new rail stations in every major Earth Kingdom and United Republic city, the world seems more connected than ever. Korra is especially appreciative because it makes her job much easier. She’s been back and forth between Republic City and diplomatic missions nonstop for what felt like years. Well...it actually had been five years since the remnants of the Earth Empire had been snuffed out and General Guan was imprisoned. The world had moved on from the pain and destruction under the leadership of newly elected governors and presidents. An era of peace had unfolded, and to many’s surprise, Kuvira had dedicated herself to healing her nation and righting her wrongs. 

She spent a lot of time contemplating the role her troubled childhood played in her misguided attempts to save her people. If her family had the chance to bring in a mentor for her when she was young, someone to create structure and help her cope with her heavy emotions, then maybe she could have stayed home. To honor her past self, and be the change she wished to see, she started opening family centers across the nation. Baatar helped her with the technology and building designs, she dreamt up the programming and services, and Korra coordinated meetings with city leaders that had a growing population of families in need. Over time, the name Kuvira was no longer associated with death and destruction. She found herself in a new chapter of life where she could be her own hero without hurting the people she loved.

* * *

“We’ve got the Avatar coming today. This will probably be her last visit of this kind.” Baatar is standing near his desk in the workshop, schematics stacked in front of him and one in his hand, talking more so to himself than Kuvira. The mention of the Avatar catches her attention.

“What do you mean?”

Baatar looks up from his work as if he wasn’t expecting a reply. “Well with your sentence getting reduced for all your community service, you can start traveling to these meetings alone.”

The thought of traveling without a chaperone felt like an abstract concept to Kuvira since she had grown accustomed to being escorted everywhere. All the heavy supervision wasn’t so bad once Korra took over for the White Lotus. In fact, she quite liked their trips through the Earth Kingdom and United Republic. Korra had been right that day they were blasted into the Spirit World—they were alike in so many ways.

On their longest trips they would eat dinner together and play stupid games like Truth-Or-Dare and Eye Spy. Kuvira always thought they were childish and gave Korra a hard time for suggesting them, but she played anyway, inevitably falling into fits of uncontrollable laughter. Traveling near the northern edge of the continent, during a particularly cold evening, they were forced to share a train car due to poorly planned room assignments. The stayed up that whole night joking about Suyin and Lin’s fight in the courtyard when Korra first arrived in Zaofu. Kuvira almost choked on her water when Korra called Su’s earthbending “extra as hell.” That was something they could wholeheartedly agree on. When Korra fell asleep and filled the small room with snores, rolling unconsciously into the warmth of Kuvira's body, Kuvira had a passing thought; _I’ve never had a girlfriend before._

“Right. I almost forgot I was on house arrest. This estate is hardly a prison,” Kuvira said to Baatar’s bowed head. He had returned to reading while she was daydreaming about train rides.

He mumbled a reply about hating being in his childhood home at the age of 32 and Kuvira nodded silently, which he never saw. They finished their work quietly, trapped in their own minds, hardly aware of each other’s presence. That was the nature of their friendship throughout house arrest—a comfortable constant. Baatar was soothing background noise in Kuvira’s chaotic life. It had been that way when they were little and continued to be after they got a few long overdue shouting matches out the way. Beyond their controversial relationship, and interesting sex life, they were truly great friends. 

* * *

“Korra, always so nice to see you,” Suyin said with outstretched arms. Korra was in Zaofu regularly but never grew tired of the warm welcomes. She dropped her bag to the ground and walked into a tight hug. 

“Where’s Kuvira,” she asked.

Su tilted her head curiously. It wasn’t her place to say, or take note, but she couldn’t help noticing how Korra’s attention was set on Kuvira more and more as the visits came and went. “She’s in the courtyard working out with the twins. I’m sure she’d love a partner,” Su explained with a bit of emphasis on ‘partner.’

Korra knit her brow before quickly dismissing the suggestive tone. She grabbed her bag and jogged off to the far side of the estate. The courtyard had been remodeled after the Beifong Sister Smackdown and now included a winding stream of water, several bridges, a plot of sand, a metal court, and a meteorite obstacle course. Kuvira was by herself in the middle of the sand, swirling it about in an unruly cloud, creating a storm of sorts. It was an impressive mastery of the element in its most difficult form. Korra stared for a moment, studying the precise movements and masterful focus.

Kuvira finished her exercise and let the sand drift back to the ground. She dusted her hands with powerful claps as she turned around, finding Korra leaning against a nearby boulder. “That’s kind of creepy, Avatar.”

“Didn’t want to interrupt.” Korra met Kuvira in the center of plot and playfully punched her arm. “Not bad for a metalbender.”

Kuvira rolled her eyes. The metalbender joke came about after a calamitous detour through the desert, during which she panicked after stepping into a pool of quicksand. Korra teased for the rest of the trip about her rudimentary sandbending skills, telling her it was best if she stuck to metal. Kuvira would never admit it, but it motivated her to master the skill, and she didn’t hate the nickname when it was Korra using it. 

“I lost my sparring partners to a Power Disc tournament,” she explained, gesturing to the empty courtyard. “Join me?”

The giddiest grin took over Korra’s face. “Gladly.”

* * *

The impact of Korra’s body against the column shook the entire pagoda. Her lungs contracted violently as she lost her breath. The force stunned her for a second and she almost caught a meteorite to the head while she regained her bearings. After ducking out the way she swung her left fist, sending a metal cable whizzing around Kuvira’s feet. A forceful yank brought the other woman down with a resounding thud. Korra launched herself into the air with a jutting column of earth and landed on her feet just above Kuvira’s fallen body. One final clench of her fists brought rock formations over her opponent’s feet and hands, pinning her to the ground.

Korra leaned down within inches of Kuvira’s face, her smirk looked teasing but satisfied. “A bit rusty, huh?”

The disorientation from the fall faded away and Kuvira realized she’d lost the match, but the proximity of Korra’s lips made it a tolerable loss. “More like distracted,” she panned.

“Sure thing, metalbender.” Korra let down the restraints but held her position hovering menacingly. It wasn’t until Kuvira swallowed hard, trying desperately to clear the lump in her throat, that Korra noticed how close they were. She quickly stood up and reached out her hand. In a desperate attempt to make things less weird she thought to offer dinner. “Hungry?”

Kuvira grabbed the offered hand as calmly as she could while her thoughts lit up in a blaze of indecent fantasies. It took all her strength to respond with her signature cool and even tone. “I could eat.”

* * *

“My name’s Lee, if you all have any questions about the menu just let me know.” The waitress was a tall woman with a fit build and dark long hair. She reminded Korra of Asami, who was now her ex. They broke up after her third year of being away from home ten months out of twelve. Sure, they had love for each other, but that just wasn’t enough when they barely ever spent time together. 

Kuvira noticed the solemn change in Korra’s demeanor when the waitress left the table. Against her better judgement she decided to ask, “How have you been since she left?”

The question caught Korra off guard. They rarely talked about relationship stuff, sticking to bending and global affairs most of the time. But she didn’t mind sharing, Kuvira was the only person she had confided in since Asami left. “Honestly, kind of lonely,” Korra said before giving a pitiful laugh. “I actually look forward to coming here every few weeks. You’re my only friend.”

It was supposed to be a quip but there was a lot of truth to what Korra said. The two of them had formed a relationship without any effort at all. Kuvira had quietly become a listening ear, a source of advice, and a steadying presence in Korra’s life. Their time together was the only constant either of them had outside of the busy work of maintaining peace in their lives. What they had was certainly friendship...and potentially much more.

Kuvira forced a half laugh too. She didn’t want to seem too desperate for reciprocated feelings. “We’d make a weird pair of friends, Avatar. An ex-dictator turned community advocate and the woman who brought her to justice? Not exactly a storybook ending.”

“You’ve got a point there.” Korra rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly. She wasn’t sure where she was going with her next thought but she said it anyway. “I hope you know there’s no hard feelings about what happened in Republic City all those years ago.”

Kuvira’s pupils widened dramatically as the guilt flooded back in. Most days she managed not to think of that day—the wreckage, the failure, the shame. And when the thoughts forced their way into her consciousness she always felt overcome with grief. Sometimes she wondered how _anyone_ forgave her, she barely forgave herself, and certainly Korra had every right to hold a grudge. 

“What I said in the Spirit World…” she paused for a few deep breaths. “That was the first time I recognized how hurt I was when my parents sent me away. I had been holding that in for 22 years. If you hadn’t stayed there, listened to me, gave me a chance...well, I’d still be in prison.”

Without thinking, Korra reached out for Kuvira’s hand. “No one’s perfect. I know that better than anyone.” Kuvira scoffed at the subtle self-deprecation. “Seriously though. Everyone is capable of changing,” Korra added.

Change had not come easy for either of them, they suffered great losses along the way, but it was necessary in the end. Change was something that brought them together, change wove their fates together, and change made it hard for them to release their hold on each other.

When the waitress returned she glanced at their intertwined fingers before asking for their order. Kuvira snatched her hand back in a panic and sat up straight. Her eyes shot around the restaurant looking for _anything_ else to see besides Korra's blushing face. 

They spent the rest of dinner making small talk and avoiding strong eye contact. Kuvira felt like she was holding her breath the entire time. When she finally got back to her room she let out a heavy sigh of relief. She closed her door, turned the lock, and slid to the floor with the wall at her back. The first few coughs of sorrow were louder than she expected so she clasped her hand over her mouth to muffle the cries. Tears pooled against her fingers until her eyes slammed shut. Kuvira wasn’t quite sure why she was crying. 

What did she think would come of another dinner where she fumbled through her words and swallowed her emotions? Korra was the most revered person in the world and Kuvira was just a broken woman trying to piece together a life with some semblance of meaning, pay for her sins, and clear her conscience. Why was her heart set on someone she couldn’t have?

* * *

After a successful trip to the city state of Guilin, Korra and Kuvira said their goodbyes at the gates of Zaofu. Kuvira lingered there long after the airship faded into the horizon. She bit her lip to keep it from trembling, determined not to cry anymore than she already had. Baatar walked up behind her after searching the entire estate. He placed a hand on her shoulder and waited for her to speak.

“I’m okay,” she whispered, her voice shaky from trying to quell her sadness. 

“You always get like this after these trips, Kuvira. If I didn’t know better I’d think you liked her.”

Kuvira caught a glimpse of Baatar’s concerned expression out of the corner of her eye. She wasn’t brave enough to say it out loud, not even with her oldest friend. Putting words to her feelings would only make it real, make it hurt that much more.

"I- it's stupid. It'll never happen,” she declared, hoping to convince herself as well as Baatar.

"What do you mean? What is _it_?" 

She turned to face him with watery eyes and a flushed face. It didn’t take long for him to piece it together, the dots started connecting in his mind. "If you like her, tell her. She'd be lucky to have you."

Kuvira scoffed knowing Baatar was delusional in his attempts to comfort her. "I'm a war criminal and she's beloved by millions. You’ve got it backwards, _I’d_ be lucky to have _her_.” The words were out before she could stop herself.

Baatar thought for a moment, unsure if he should press the subject or not, but everything in him wanted to make Kuvira feel better. "I don't know, Vira. I've seen how she looks at you since Asami left. I think you should-"

"Just stop it, okay?” Kuvira shook her head furiously. All she could think was _no—_ no to her dreams of being more than Korra’s friend, no to the hopes of spending their lives together, and no to the idea that she could ever be enough. “Korra doesn't want me...not like I want her." There was a tear threatening to fall but Baatar pulled her into a hug before it did.

"Then that makes her a fool...a fool for being blind to everything you have to offer."

His words didn’t fix anything, but for a moment they kept Kuvira balanced while her longing for Korra pushed her into utter disarray.


End file.
